No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery

100: My Real Rock Bottom—Years After I Got Sober | And How Obsession with Perfection Nearly Ruined My Recovery

Jake Kastleman

We often think of a rock bottom story as the moment someone relapses, destroys their marriage, or hits crisis during active addiction. But what if rock bottom doesn’t come at the start of recovery? What if it shows up years after sobriety, long after you’ve quit porn?

In this raw and deeply personal episode, I share the story of my real rock bottom—a collapse that came after I had overcome porn, but before I had truly healed.

This isn’t just about addiction. It’s about how perfectionism, spiritual bypassing, emotional suppression, and the need for control nearly ruined my life—even while I was “doing everything right.”

Whether you’re just beginning your porn addiction recovery journey or have years of sobriety behind you, this episode will speak to the deeper layers of healing:

  • How I became addicted to productivity, spiritual performance, and “doing recovery perfectly”
  • Why emotional sobriety matters just as much as behavioral sobriety
  • How Internal Family Systems (IFS) helped me see that the voice I thought was the Spirit was actually a perfectionist protector part of my mind
  • The danger of confusing God’s will with your own fear
  • The moment I realized I had built my identity on shame, not truth
  • How I began healing my marriage, my mental health, and my relationship with God
  • What I learned about accountability, ownership, and the power of being real

You’ll also hear about how my first attempt at building a recovery business failed, what I learned from hitting emotional and spiritual bottom, and how my understanding of faith and addiction recovery had to radically change in order for me to grow.

This is for the man who’s done the surface-level work… but still feels stuck.

It’s for the guy who feels anxious, isolated, or ashamed even years into recovery.

It’s for anyone ready to stop running, get honest, and choose growth.

If you’ve ever wondered how to overcome shame, reclaim your agency, and pursue real healing from addiction—this conversation will meet you right where you are.

Resources Mentioned:
👉 Free Workshop
📘
Free Ebook
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Recommended Episodes: 

1 Year of Porn Addiction Withdrawals - What to Expect When You Quit Porn

Christianity and Porn Addiction | How Your Relationship with God May Be Keeping You From Quitting

Why Doesn't God Take My Porn Addiction? Spirituality, Psychology, and Praying to Quit


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